Subconsciously, I see report card day as an evaluation of me and my parenting. I know, I know. I shouldn’t be living vicariously through my chidlren. I need to let them be who they are. Who they are isn’t necessarily a reflection of me. I know all the “right answers.”
But let’s just be honest. I have a hard time with it. Half the battle is admitting it, right? So I’m just gonna say it. I tie myself way too tightly to my kids’ performance.
I am happy to report that the girls did very well on their report cards. But not perfect.
I had a silent freak-out moment. (Well, not as silent to my husband, but I was quiet about it in front of the kids!)
I thought I was content in gaining my competence in Christ (2 Cor 3:5), but I had allowed myself to get it in myself and my children. I thought I trusted God to take care of the girls, but I had snatched that burden and taken it right back. I thought I was discovering who God made the girls to be, but realized I have been creating little “Mini-Me’s.” (Making kids in your own image is not nearly as attractive as allowing kids be themselves – made in the image of God).
Yes, the freak-out was proof positive I had flunked the test.
But I am so thankful that with God, there’s always a chance for a do-over, a re-test, and a chance to drop the lowest grade.
Lord, would you help me untie the knots that bind my self-worth to my kids’? Help me to not expect perfection, but cultivate a culture of security in You. Thanks for second chances, Lord.
What’s the unspoken Mommy Report Card that you use to measure your success as a parent?